Yes, the menu revolves around me. Next question?
× chocolate chip cookie w/ 3 types of chocolate chips!

Red Light Special will have the kitchen lights dimmed, silk robe on, dancing in front of the fridge. No judgements here!
× red velvet cookie w/ cream cheese, milk chocolate chips, and semi sweet chocolate chunks.

Another year older, none the wiser, but hey at least there are sprinkles. YAY!
× birthday cake w/ white chocolate,  sprinkles.

Legally, we cannot call it an Oreo. Culturally, you know exactly what this is.
+ crushed sandwich cookies consisting of “two cocoa biscuits w/ a sweet fondant filling”

Granny bakin circles around your modern trend cookies since 1950.
× oatmeal cookie and it’s got RAISINS!

Your Emotional Support Cookie. Cheaper than therapy and significantly more delicious.
× pb cookie w/ pb chips.

We threw in everything but accountability.
× chocolate chip cookie w/ pretzels, pecans, and butterscotch chips.

No chips, no nuts, no personality, just vibes.
× basic ass sugar cookie.

The audacity to pack this much fall flavor into one bite.
× apple cider spiced cookie w/ caramel bits.

Tastes like Zen, looks like grass, feels like a lifestyle choice.
× matcha w/ white chocolate chips & macadamia nuts.

that sh!t is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s!
× banana cookie w/ vanilla wafers, and white chocolate chips.

Shining brighter than your future ex’s engagement ring.
× carrot cake cookie w/ cream cheese chips, topped with gold dust for a lil razzle dazzle.

Side swept bangs, piercings, black eyeliner, skinny jeans, band tee… It’s not a phase mom!
× dark chocolate cookie, w/ milk chocolate and dark chocolate chips.